As much as things are improving, arguably society is still bringing up girls to be compliant, passive and quiet and allowing boys to be assertive, authoritative and to have their voices heard.
As a consequence, some women are forced to walk down a career path so narrow that the journey is both uncomfortable and confining.
And if she steps from the path and chooses not to conform, what happens then?
In the study Gender Stereotypes About Intellectual Ability Emerge Early and Influence Children’s Interests (2017), Andrei Cimpian suggests that girls as young as six can be led to believe that men are inherently smarter and more talented than women. The result is girls, as young as six, doubting women’s ability to be brilliant.
Speaking at the Girls’ School Association’s annual conference in Manchester, Natasha Devon, the campaigner and former government mental health champion, said: “We teach girls that pleasing others is the most important virtue and that being well-behaved is contingent upon being quiet and delicate.”
A poll of nearly 2,000 young people by the UK charity Girlguiding found that 55 per cent of girls aged seven to 21 said they did not feel they could speak freely because of their gender. And what happens to those 55 per cent of girls when they become women?
How do we support girls in schools to believe in their full potential – and that ambition, drive and passion are a great thing, and things not restricted to men alone?
We must allow girls in the classroom to lead without being called “bossy”. Next time you hear a girl called “bossy”, take the time to unpick this – would they call a boy bossy for adopting the same behaviour?
We must embrace rebellion from conformity. Let girls move away from “nice” and “delicate”; talk to them about their achievements on the rugby field, or their grit when approaching a challenging task. We must value their voice. Girls must be given the space and time to develop their own relationship with what it means for them to be female: there are no rules.
In Unconscious Gender Bias: Everyone’s Issue (2016), Lisa Marie Jenkins states: “There is a silent, yet powerful force – unconscious gender bias – and we all have it, men and women. Even if you are pro-women, this bias looms unconsciously unless, conscious action is taken to shift your default mode of thinking.”
Repeated and pervasive messages that girls and women should behave passively and sensitively and quietly establish and perpetuate this malignant, insidious stereotype.
Traditionally, we have associated men with words and concepts such as leadership, dominance, assertiveness so that when we see men demonstrate these qualities it is cognitively appealing to us – it fits our default unconscious image.
Lisa Marie Jenkins (2016) states: “We find women ‘likable’ when they exhibit (emotional, supportive and caring) qualities. But when a woman is seen as a leader and driven, we are unaccepting or judgemental because it goes against our brain’s categorisation of what a woman is supposed to be. We not only criticise her as cold, power-hungry, and out for self, but will prefer a man for the same leadership role with fewer qualifications.”
So, what challenges are put into the path of your female teachers and leaders? What does your school’s recruitment information look like? Is it laden with unconscious bias? Do you have a bias interrupter, who can correct, challenge and obstruct implicit stereotypical thinking and bias when it becomes evident?
Sheryl Sandberg in Lean In (2015) discusses the Heidi/Howard experiment to support the idea that success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. The study saw a group of people given autobiographical information about Heidi Roizen, who was a successful Silicon Valley venture capitalist. Professor Frank Flynn from the Columbia Business School presented half his class with the case study with Heidi’s name on it and gave half the class the same case study with her name changed to “Howard”. The students rated “Howard” and Heidi equally competent, but they liked Howard, and not Heidi.
It is both men and women who like successful women less. Perhaps we’d expect women to be more supportive of each other – but unconscious bias is just that: unconscious. Interestingly, psychology helps give this a name: the black sheep effect, in which people are harder on rule-breaking members of their own group than they are on the deviants of other tribes.
Behaving in a way which conforms to feminine gender stereotypes can make it difficult to reach the same opportunities as men – it creates that narrow career path, which for some just doesn’t feel right. However, defying expectations and choosing not to conform leads to being judged as “difficult”.
Olga Khazan (2017) believes that “the most notorious double standard is that women can’t break into important jobs unless they advocate for themselves and command respect. But they’re also reviled unless they act like chipper and self-deprecating team players, forever passing the credit along to others”.
What can we do about it in our schools? Chapter 1 of Lean In is titled The Leadership Ambition Gap, with the subheading: “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”
Until our society has – and accepts – a robust image of female success then undoubtedly some women will have to chose between being successful and being liked.
We can create this image for the girls in our schools so that our future leaders do not have to make this choice. Choosing to step off the narrow career path, choosing not to conform to limiting stereotypes and expectations is daunting.
Khazan interviewed Carol Tavris, who believes how we behave at work depends on “how safe we feel at work”.
“Does our work give us a chance to thrive? Or are we feeling thwarted at every step?”
Unconscious bias is not a woman’s issue – it is everyone’s issue. It cannot be solved by women alone. We all have to start recognising when it creeps in – in our classrooms, in the corridors, in our meeting rooms – and be ready to challenge and change it.
“It’s about waking up, becoming conscious to this bias as a function of the brain’s default categorisations and then learning to override it. After all, we can’t change what we don’t see.” (Jenkins, 2016).
“Stereotypes about how female leaders should behave, Rudman said, will only change when enough of us defeat them.” (Khazan, 2017)
So, what would you do if you weren’t afraid?
- Caroline Sherwood teaches English at South Molton Community College in Devon, is Pupil Premium champion and teaching and learning lead. Caroline is also a Specialist Leader in Education with the Dartmoor Teaching School Alliance and is project director for Women Leaders in Education in the South West.