Best Practice

RSHE: Teaching consent effectively

Pastoral issues Safeguarding PSHE
Consent is an issue that many teachers can find difficult to tackle as part of RSHE, and yet it is a vital topic to teach given the endemic problems of sexual harassment and violence. Luke Ramsden looks at consent education for different ages


At the time of writing, the government has announced the expected national review of the relationships, sex, and health education (RSHE) curriculum (DfE, 2023).

The review was always due to take place this year and while recent stories of inappropriate lessons are, at least partly, being overstated by some MPs, it is clear that teachers up and down the country need more support and training in delivering this curriculum.

There are many excellent resources available for RSE online, but some resources are better than others. And there is currently no definitive way for a school to quality-assure many of the lessons that might be being taken for use from the internet.

In addition, very few teachers who have trained to teach subjects like physics, French or history had in their minds that they would also have the chance to teach year 11s about pornography or year 8 about sexting.

Only a very small number of teachers across the country have been formally trained as specialist RSE teachers – this training must become a priority for all schools.

In this article, I would like to offer some thoughts for school leaders and classroom teachers about how to deliver RSE lessons, particularly those vital lessons focusing on the issue of consent in sexual relationships.


Understanding the importance of consent education

This might seem an obvious point, but for the teaching of consent to be effective, the teacher needs to be clear about why it is such an important topic.

Some colleagues might suggest that issues like this are best addressed by parents at home, but if we are to ensure that all students understand consent it must be covered in school.

All teachers should themselves be trained so that they understand the positive benefits of learning about consent in school as empowering young people to make informed and healthy choices about their relationships and their sexual health.

Learning about consent guides them about how to show respect and understand boundaries within a sexual relationship. Crucially, consent makes it clear that sexual violence and harassment are never acceptable. Everyone has the right to say no to any sexual activity that they are not comfortable with.

Another key thing to understand is that consent education is particularly important in our modern world given the way in which our culture tends to trivialise and normalise sexual violence and harassment. Young people are bombarded with videos and messages through their phones which can lead them to believe that sexual violence is not only acceptable, but even desirable behaviour – with Andrew Tate the most recent influencer encouraging misogynistic behaviour.


Primary education and consent

In many ways, primary school is the key stage for educating about consent because, as with so many things, habits established in childhood will often be the most enduring.

The RSHE curriculum (DfE, 2019) states that in relationships education in primary school: “Pupils should be taught how to take turns, how to treat each other with kindness, consideration and respect, the importance of honesty and truthfulness, permission-seeking and giving, and the concept of personal privacy.

“Establishing personal space and boundaries, showing respect and understanding the differences between appropriate and inappropriate or unsafe physical, and other, contact – these are the forerunners of teaching about consent, which takes place at secondary.”

The key at this age is to establish the idea of boundaries and consent in the broadest possible way with younger students. For instance, a teacher could give the children a scenario where someone takes a toy or a pencil from their friend’s desk without permission and why that is not kind behaviour. You could then look at a scenario of a pupil taking a toy even though their friend had said they couldn’t and have a class discussion on that.

Fundamentally, the key at this age is that children understand the importance of respecting other people’s rights and considering this in their behaviour.

In an age-appropriate way, these ideas or thoughts could then be introduced into different types of touching: from hitting and kicking through to handholding, hugging, and kissing. Again, ask children to think about and discuss what is appropriate and inappropriate and how they might challenge inappropriate behaviour.

Another important thought for teachers is to try and bring parents into these conversations so that the good messages being taught in school are being echoed and reinforced at home. This could be something as simple as a message home sharing what has been discussed in class to having an “open class” session where parents are in school and share these conversations about appropriate boundaries and respect.

The NSPCC and the PSHE Association both provide some excellent resources for consent lessons for younger children. Where primary school teachers may require particular training and support is in talking to pupils in years 5 and 6. In a typical school, a large number of students of that age (if not younger) will already have smartphones and relatively unrestricted access to internet.

Even at this young age, many students will need education in issues such as taking and sharing of inappropriate images. It is important that primary schools do not assume that these are not issues that will ever arise with their pupils.


Secondary education and consent

Surveys of young people show varying figures, but across the country it is generally thought that around a third of people have had sex by the time they are 16, and around half by the time they are 17 (see for example, Palmer et al, 2019).

This makes detailed and frank consent education essential given the numbers of sexually active young people that almost all teachers have in their class.

The secondary RSHE curriculum specifically includes the teaching of sexual consent, “what consent is and is not”, and the law around consent, including “how people can actively communicate and recognise consent from others, including sexual consent, and how and when consent can be withdrawn (in all contexts, including online)” (DfE, 2019).

Schools need to provide effective training for their staff. Teachers need to know the laws around consent themselves so that they can ensure that they are giving students the correct advice.

So, for instance, teachers need to understand what is actually meant by consent – that is the freedom and capacity to consent. This idea of freedom and capacity is very important for young people to understand because it is not just about someone saying “yes”. If someone has been forced, manipulated, or tricked in any way into agreeing to sex, then that is not consent because they did not have a free or fully informed choice.

In addition, teachers need to understand the context around consent. It is important that lessons on consent do not seek to demonise boys and set up a dynamic in which they are purely made to feel defensive.

Ideas of positive, as opposed to toxic masculinity, should be explored because boys have just as much a potential role in challenging poor behaviour as girls.

That said, the stark and worrying statistics around sex and consent nationwide should be explained as it shows how much this is a concern that predominately affects women. For instance, a woman is attacked by someone she knows every seven minutes. And a third of British men believe that if a woman flirts with them on a date, then it isn’t rape if he has sex with her without consent (see We Need to Talk – Mardle Books, 2023 – by Emily Hunt).

Almost as important as their factual understanding is that teachers need to have practice in talking about sexually explicit topics. This is important so that they understand the language being used by young people (do they know what “stealthing” is for instance?). Also, the teacher needs to sound comfortable when addressing this subject because if they sound nervous or uncomfortable then it will make the students feel less comfortable in opening up to talk themselves.

In all of these things, teachers will benefit from expert support. Many schools will sensibly feel that they should draw on the expertise of organisations like The Schools Consent Project, The Sex, Lies and Love Project, and Everyone’s Invited, which provide visiting speakers. Whoever does lead the consent lessons, teacher training remains invaluable.


Final thought

All schools need to develop a culture where students are encouraged to talk to their teachers about the concerns they have around consent, and where teachers are comfortable in talking to their students.

The key outcomes of consent education are that young people understand how to recognise and report harassment and sexual violence and that teachers understand how to look for signs of harassment and violence and how to talk to students if there are concerns.

If both these things are in place then schools will be able to do a lot to break through the wider problem that society has in a tacit acceptance of sexual violence.

  • Luke Ramsden is senior deputy head of St Benedict's School in London and chair of trustees for The Schools Consent Project. Visit www.schoolsconsentproject.com


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