Best Practice

Bereavement, death and grief in the classroom

Pastoral issues Safeguarding Pupil wellbeing Mental health Coronavirus
It is important to speak about death in the classroom, but these conversations can be difficult to navigate. Annabelle Shaw from bereavement charity Project Eileen advises


Death and bereavement are difficult to talk about for people of any age, but the events of the past 18 months have, unfortunately, brought these topics to the fore for many.

Death is a fact of life – the one true certainty – and while addressing it can be uncomfortable, we must all do more to break the taboo when discussing it.

Tackling the topic of death in schools can provide young people with the tools and life skills necessary to help others and themselves, now and in their future lives, and ultimately reduce the stigma associated with the topic.

Using this approach can foster a stronger relationship between schools and pupils and their parents, potentially reducing absences and long-term impact on performance.


Preparing students for life events

Schools tend to adopt a reactive approach to discussing death and grief, most often in the wake of a tragic situation. But this approach can leave the bereaved person feeling isolated and lonely because everyone struggles to know how to support them.

If schools were to address the topic in advance, teachers and students would find themselves in a better position to deal with any loss they encounter, sometimes unexpectedly, and learn how to support one another.

We should be talking to young people about death and grief in advance, to familiarise them with the emotions associated with grief and ensure that they feel comfortable discussing the topic so that it does not overwhelm the rest of their lives.

For students who have or will experience bereavement during their time at school, covering bereavement as part of the curriculum provides an understanding of what they are feeling and allows them time to reflect on their experience.

For other students, covering the topic in school will provide them with their first opportunity to talk about death and help them to create a more supportive and understanding environment for when they or someone they know experiences grief.

Effective lessons on topics of death, grief and bereavement aim to remove the fear and stigma of speaking about death. They will help students to know what to expect and provide them with relevant tools to help themselves and others. In the long term, exploring this topic will provide skills and resilience to prevent potential mental health issues related to bereavement and grief.


Introducing the topic of death

Introducing the topic of death into the curriculum may be difficult and conversations may be uncomfortable for teachers, but these discussions are extremely valuable. Schools can start by taking these steps to introduce the topic of death in school:


Communicating effectively

It is important for teachers and pastoral staff who are taking on the challenge of discussing death to be fully aware of how the issue has affected individuals in the group they are talking to.

We would advise schools to send out a letter beforehand – Project Eileen offers a template in our resource pack – providing parents and carers a chance to alert them to their child’s history with bereavement but also to inform them on the content of the lessons.

Our recent survey – from October 2021 – found that more than half of almost 1,200 parents think the topic of death and bereavement has a place on the curriculum and having their input and support will only add value to the lessons.

Students who have experienced bereavement should have a choice of whether to attend the sessions, and if they do decide to go ahead, they should have the option to withdraw at any time if they feel overwhelmed.

Euphemisms are often used to avoid directly saying the words “death” and “died”. Teachers should clarify the use of the terms at the beginning of the discussion and endeavour to use simple, direct language wherever possible, as relying on euphemisms further contributes to the sense that discussing death is inappropriate.


Encouraging respectful discussion

When leading a discussion on death, teachers need to ensure that the sensitive topic is discussed productively and inclusively.

By the time most young people enter their early teens, they understand that death is final and irreversible, and many are beginning to grapple with the reality that they and the people they love will eventually die. Each student will bring their own views and beliefs to the discussion, but it is essential that the teacher maintains the ground rules of listening, asking appropriate questions, and maintaining mutual respect.

However, it is equally important not to stifle conversation. Providing students with an opportunity to process their fears, thoughts and feelings about death and put them into words can play a valuable role in breaking down the taboo and will support good mental health.

Teachers should also be careful to avoid over-personalising the discussion as each student’s experience with death will be different. It is important to talk about death in a sensitive way without overstimulating facts that could cause excessive worry or fears of losing someone.

Project Eileen recommends using fictional characters and hypotheticals to create distance and maintain objectivity. For example, the Project Eileen Programme centres around a story, Eileen. The situations faced by its fictional characters are used to stimulate discussion which helps to provide distance and objectivity.


Being prepared for questions

Inevitably, students will have things they want to ask and the prospect of this may feel daunting. There are different ways to address questions.

First, teachers should not be afraid to admit that they do not know an answer to a question. There are various resources and organisations available which deal with death, bereavement and grief (see further information).

Teachers should use these groups to research the answers themselves or refer students to them directly. For students who feel uncomfortable asking questions in class, a box could be provided for them to submit questions anonymously. These questions could be answered in another lesson or privately.


Supporting bereaved students

Reactive support for bereaved students will, of course, sometimes be necessary. It is important for teachers to know there is support available. Although they and their pastoral leads can provide some support for individuals who have been bereaved and need help, teachers should not be afraid to refer to counsellors or bereavement specialists.

They should feel confident directing bereaved students toward options for professional help. There are several local and national services and organisations which are dedicated to assisting children and young people with the grieving process – such as Hope Again, the youth website of Cruse Bereavement Support.


It’s good to talk

We must open up the conversation around death and grief. By addressing the subject in the safe environment of the classroom, young people can develop the understanding they need to support others who may be grieving and develop the skills necessary to cope when facing bereavement themselves. Using resources such as Project Eileen in schools will raise awareness, address the stigma, combat isolation and loneliness, encourage peer support, build resilience, and help reduce potential mental health issues.

  • Annabelle Shaw is programme director at Project Eileen, a charity created to help young people and the wider community tackle the topics of death and grief. Visit www.projecteileen.co.uk


Further information & resources